Holding myself accountable
I’ve made some pledges and bold assertions over the past few months. Inquiring minds might wonder if I’m holding myself to them. Here’s how it’s going (in case you’re wondering).
After deleting the Meta apps (Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp and Threads) from my phone, I proceeded to disentangle myself altogether and disabled those accounts.
The Good
No more targeted ads
No more overnight purchases
Less scrolling
Less overall time on my phone, although I just diverted some time to silly games and Substack
Less frustration with the world at large
The Bad
Is it weird to wish a high school friend – your prom date, in fact – happy birthday by text? Facebook is an easy breezy way to stay in touch. I don’t want anyone’s wife to wonder why an ex is texting just because I broke up with Zuckerberg.
There are groups – writers, neighborhood, hobbies – that only have a Facebook group to keep up to date. Fortunately, my book club was willing to move to a text chain. It’s a little more awkward to manage, but so far, it’s working.
The Creepy
Facebook emails me at least once or twice a day, trying to activate my fear of missing out.
“Your friend just posted a new photo, view here.”
“You have 103 notifications about Donna and others”
The Verdict
I’m doing great, and 99% of the time don’t miss it at all. The remaining 1% is easily remedied by texting a friend. I’m staying out of the Meta-verse for now.
I planned to “start by including emotional check-ins as part of my overall self-care routine.” Unfortunately, this one currently falls into the “yet to be started” category.
The Update
I’m not crying on a regular basis.
I’m still rushing to the next thing on the schedule even after writing or editing difficult things and skipping the step where I reflect on how I feel.
The Verdict
I know this is important. As I re-evaluate my writing schedule for the weeks ahead, I’ll insert some time to pause and reflect. More to come.
I asked, “What would happen if we used the colder weather to let ourselves rest a little more, consume a little less, and just enjoy the simplicity of shorter days?”
The Good
Specifically, I drastically reduced my egg purchases until the daylight hours extended enough to stimulate natural production.
Generally, I have been much more intentional about my consumption. It’s been 60 days since I purchased anything from Amazon or Target. This may not sound like a big deal, but trust me, my Amazon habit was $200-300 per month. Some of that is straight reduction (using the library, eliminating impulse buys) while some is intentionally moving my spending to local merchants or directly from the manufacturer.
I’m using cash instead of credit cards more, to be more conscious of spending and eliminate the fees paid to credit card companies.
The Bad
It can be inconvenient to find alternatives to the easy Amazon shopping list and to carry enough cash for expected purchases.
The Verdict
This is good for my budget!
I am much more intentional about how I use my power as a consumer.
There’s a lot I can’t control in today’s political climate, but opting out of certain companies – both as a consumer and an investor – is one way I can make a difference.
What I’ve gained by dropping the resolutions
I pledged to “match my annual spending in those categories (weight loss, fitness and cosmetics) to feed others.”
The Good
I’ve matched my health and beauty spending (haircuts, make-up, personal care products) with local food bank donations.
The Bad
I have not matched my fitness spending.
The Verdict
For now, this is my compromise until I have income from my writing or future employment. I thought about reducing my fitness budget, but the combination of Pilates, yoga and water aerobics is an important part of my life right now.
I love balancing my personal care purchases with something more community focused.
After quietly listening to an author and resisting the opportunity for networking, I pledged to “go listen to another author talk about their new book. I will talk to two other people, ask them about themselves and be ready to share my own, very short bio. I will ask the author a question. I will make conversation with the moderator after the session.”
The Good
I did it! Last week, I went to another book event. I asked the author and the moderator a question. I spoke to the author after the session. She was thoughtful, supportive, helpful.
I chatted with other audience members after the event. They were encouraging and engaging.
The Bad
Not applicable!
The Verdict
I’ll do it again!
Quite a few of my articles have focused on experiencing or overcoming self-doubt and fear. I believe those feelings come part and parcel with being brave, living outside my comfort zone and being true to my purpose. There’s no “good” or “bad” to review here – just outcomes as I continue to grow.
The Verdict
Self-doubt, fear and faith are part of the journey for the life I want to live - an indication I’m on the right path.
Being honest about those feelings feels true and authentic.
Do you have any other questions or follow-ups from a previous essay?
Thanks for being along for the journey!
Welcome to life outside of the metaverse! It’s a different place for sure and I completely agree with your thoughts. I find myself annoyed that I can’t get menus or open hours for businesses that have chosen to use Facebook as their website but nothing a phone call can’t resolve. For me the biggest downfall is that over the years Facebook has managed to manufacture intimate relationships with my friends who are “over posters”. They share all the details of their life, we follow along and in turn get this sensation of being closer to them than what is actually true of our relationship (it’s just an acquaintanceship since I never posted much at all). I find myself wondering about those people; did they ever resolve their issues that needed prayers, I wonder if their car started working again, how many new recipes have they tried? All joking aside, I do miss the occasional update from people who I know but don’t have a text them or call them relationship!
Excellent updates! Thank you for sharing them. ☺️